“Ghosting” Is Bad Professional Etiquette—Here’s What Candidates Should Do Instead

With the current U.S. unemployment rate at 3.8% (and at a historic 1.3% low in technology) it should not be a surprise that today’s job seeker is likely to have multiple job offers when deciding to change employment. In this hot labor market, employers are now facing challenges from the younger generation entering the workforce—some of whom do not know how to properly handle weighing multiple employment options.  But it’s not exactly fair to say that the issue of “ghosting” is specific to the younger generation; after all, it is human nature to avoid confrontation and having to deliver that piece of uncomfortable news.  

In a recent article from the Wall Street Journal, author Sue Shellenbarger offers her take on this issue: for jobseekers, honesty (and open communication) is the best policy. As staffing professionals, it’s our obligation to our candidates to advise them on how to approach this type of honest communication, as well as proper guidance and etiquette on how to decide between different job opportunities.  

This guidance, according to Steve Hurst, VP of Sales, should start with a pros and cons discussion exercise on factors such as technology, money, length of contract, work flexibility, location, and more. “Once you understand the candidates’ motivators it’s fairly straight forward on how to advise them turn down an offer,” he shares, “Coach the candidate through the process and tell them that honesty is ALWAYS the best policy.”  

Do’s and Don’ts

Shellenbarger’s advice takes these ideas a step further—including some “do’s and don’ts”:  

• Do: Honesty is the best policy—provided that candidates make it clear early on what they’re looking for in a new job. 
• Don’t: Job seekers should not communicate their decisions to accept or decline by text or email; over-the-phone or in-person are the most genuine ways to do this. 
• Do: Candidates shouldn’t fear asking employers about the “hiring timeline” they have in mind, as long as they request this information in an appropriate way. 
• Don’t: Candidates should not intentionally incite a “bidding war” between employers for personal gain; it could backfire, and, at the worst, even damage their reputations. 

• Do: Candidates should express appreciation and enthusiasm when receiving an offer—even after honestly communicating to an employer that they have received multiple offers. 
• Don’t: Base your decision solely on pay; reflect on other factors (including Hurst’s ideas on important considerations detailed earlier.)  

But sometimes, Shellenbarger notes, these situations are more complex—and that’s when these cookie-cutter solutions and rules of etiquette might get tossed out the window. If you get an offer for your dream job after accepting another offer, for example, she advises not backing out of your agreement—except on one condition.  

“…if the dream job will allow you to have a bigger impact, thrive and work toward a mission you care about, you may owe it to yourself to accept,” she writes, “Be appreciative and empathetic when you deliver the news to the runner-up, and explain why your reasons are so compelling. Then stick to your decision.” 

And candidates should do it with an amount of poise, maturity, and professionalism that would make their mothers, fathers, and new bosses proud.